The need to help

Pawan Murthy spoke at the October 5, 2010 Columbus Young Professionals networking breakfast, here are my notes.

Psychological Egoism - there is no deed that is unselfish (selfless)

I am ok with this theory. If everyone did this and realized it was beneficial, it would happen a lot more often.

Steve Geyer, Founder Shadowbox

The people who know you denots the currency of your success (quality  and quantity, ex: 1M pesos vs 10USD)

Dont put all your emotional eggs in one basket. If you spread things out when something fails all is not lost.

Guard your reputation with you life.

What struggles have you overcome?
What struggles are you working to overcome?

Consider helping others out.  A good way to decide how you want to help is by reviewing the needs of persons.  Maslow's hierarchy is a framework of an individuals needs.

I wonder, is there a group hierarchy of needs framework?
Where do you help?

You, inc.

Ben Blanquera was the guest speaker at the December 2010 CYP CLUB networking breakfast. Here are my notes:

1. What are the five most important things to me? 
2. What are the five areas of my life to which I dedicate the most time? 
3. Do they align? 

Consider treating yourself and guideing your decisions as if you were a incorporated business.

Your assets would be:

1. What you know 
2. Who you know 
3. (I would add, Who knows you)

Also, consider this:

Governor's mansion visit 2010

The Young Professionals of Ohio were welcomed to the Governor's mansion for a picnic, June 2010. Yvette McGee Brown, Rob Davlin, Gov. Ted Strickland, Derek Grosso, Richard Cordray.

Words of wisdom from ar-tic-u-la-tion

When preparing for you next presentation remember:

1. It's all about the audience
2. Don't be nervous
3. Slow it down
4. Body talk matters
5. Tell me the time, not how the watch is made

HA!

• Take a deep breath
• shrug your shoulders
• laugh out loud, you have nervousness in you body - release it through laughter

65%

• Non-verbal communication is 65% of your presentation
• eye contact, posture, clothing, facial expressions, tone/volume, hands gestures
• Avoid the ping-pong head (looking side-to side across the audience, express one thought, then switch eye contact
• Avoid moving your hands before you speak, gesture along with voice and tone

"That that is is that that is not is not"

• Speak like a sentence with punctuation, otherwise you sound really strange. "That that is, is. That that is not, is not"
• For a comma: pause
• For a period: take a breath
• After a paragraph: swallow
• Silence can be very powerful, it allows people to process what you have said

Case in Point

• Answer one question
• Highlight one point
• Then use the rest of your time to provide support to that one point

Going the distance

The first Tuesday of each month the CYP CLUB hosts a Speaker Networking Breakfast at the Champps Restaurant in the Lennox Town Center, if you are interested in joining email me.

On December 1st we were honored to welcome Debra Penzone, President of The Charles Penzone, Family of Salons. Debra addressed the issue of customer service and how to go the distance and she gave one of the most dynamic and well-planned presentations I have seen in a while.

The key takeaway for me was the statistics on first impressions. Penzone highlighted that when you meet someone for the first time they are “documenting” who you are and therefore are making assumptions based on what is before them that you are always “that way.”

For example when you meet someone if you are mumbley and grumbley they infer that is how you regularly act. On the converse if you present a pleasant posture they will believe you to be positive.

The cliché of “You can never make a second impression” heavily leans on this notion. When making new acquaintances, be sure to make the extra effort to be yourself, if only for the first time.

My second takeaway was how important what you aren’t saying. As it turns out only 7% of dialogue communication is based on the content. The rest is a mix of vocal tone, and body language. Even body language is comprised of many subsets such as, hand gestures, stance and posture, eyebrows and facial expressions. Debra incorporated the whole mixture very well as she paced the floor, emphasized expressions with her hands, and included the all important pause.

Many thanks to Debra Penzone for spending her morning with the Columbus Young Professionals and sharing her insights and wisdom on customer services.

Out of the mouth, the heart speaks.

On December 2, 2009 I had the privilege of hearing Artie Isaac speak on The demise of polite conversation. The above link will take you to the video, check out 44:00 for my cameo.

My notes:

Etiqutte evolves over time. What was once accepted and expected has changed.

The overarching question: What is polite conversatiion?
Simply put, offense lies in the ear of the behearer.

Where do YOU draw the line, and who gets to draw it?

An adated quote from Gandhi, Be the polite conversation we want to see in the world.

In time the way we talk will be how we will be described.

We are whatever we eat
We are what we know
We are who we know
We are where we go

Furthermore:

Our thoughts become our words.

Our words become our actions.

Our actions become our habits.

Our habits become our values.

Our values become our destiny.

Psalm34:13-14 you want a good life don't talk trash

Bad tounge:
1 false and derogatory - not much description needed here, we all know this
2 true, but derogatory - Have you ever heard honesty used as a weapon
3 second-hand - "I thought you should know, Louie has done..."
4 compliments - The difficulty here is that once someone is complimented, the air is poised for one of two things. The likely is that it is, "Yeah, but they [insert insult here]

The Shot Apple

Three are injured

1. The person who it is about - That is the apple

2. The hearer - The left side of the apple, ouch
3. The speaker - The right side of the apple, eventually it will come back to that speaker in one form or another.

Quick test to check if you conversation is on the brink.

• Are my words true?
• Must I speak them? What if we only speak only when needed.

Two times I am obliged to speak:
1. To prevent domestic violence
2. To prevent you hiring a thief

A couple of basic beliefs, if you can't go a day without a ______ you are addicted

• Cigarette
• Alcohol
• Gossip

Arite was then nice enought to include the top questions most people ask.

Cant I just apologize?

Yes. Apologies include three parts,

1. Saying/verbalizing/writing I'm sorry: The basic apology.

2. Admitting your mistake, taking responsibility for your part in the problem.

3. Asking "How can we make this right", then doing whatever is within your power to make that right.

Isn't talking how we transfer our values?
Remain silent, thinking is a good thing. Also you can transfer values by actions.

What do you talk about (if you aren't talking about people)?

Something will eventually come up. If not, enjoy the company.

Can't I say anything to my _______ ( insert close friend or relative)?

-and put them at risk of being engaged in gossip? Not everything needs to be discussed.

What about advice?

People never want advice, even when they ask for it.

What if my intentions are good?

That hogwash. The result was that you hurt someone, no explaining it away but intent will mend their reputation or feelings.

How can we avoid interrupting?

Pay attention, really pay attention to what the other person is saying. By the time they are done you might want to say something different than you originally wanted to say.

Have you lost all of your friends by polite conversation?
"Friends" on occasion will use code to let you know that they do not want to be your friend anymore, be aware of this code and move on to friends that will edify.

And with that Artie closes:
We are speaking our lives into existence.

His favorite word is:

Abracadabra- out of nothing I create something

Audience questions:
Why is it hard to correct someone?
Because no one likes to be told they are wrong. The best way to correct is...

1. Do it in private - don't display their ignorance for all to see. Let them experience it behind closed doors.
2. Do it in a polite generous way. - as best you can share with the person how it is out of care and compassion for them. If you are not doing it from that point, let someone that does proceed.
3. Allow for growth or latitude- Don't corner them and make them fight you, grant them liberty to develop and move into a right way and pattern.

What is your attitude of politeness within type and digital communication?
When letter writing was common practice, the angered person would write a scathing note and let it rest on the corner of their desk. Once the next day comes, they would deliver the letter to the trash promptly. With today's instant letter delivery via email this option is no more, write your digital letters in word, and save it to the corner of your "desktop", then delete it.

Ricart, we're motivating

On Tuesday October 6 Rhett Ricart joined the Columbus Young Professionals at our monthly networking breakfast to speak about life and business. He shared a laundry list of things.

Top 11 biggest mistakes

1. Don’t short yourself – get a good bank relationship
2. Get an estate plan
3. Use consultants pay your vendors first
4. Get a good HR director
5. Don’t let your sales outrun your service
6. Don’t teach your people to steal
7. If you cant come to work positive – stay home! Always keep a positive mental attitude
8. Phone etiquette – first and last name and answer with a smile
9. Pay your secretary/assistant the most you can afford
10. Hire by emotional intelligence – they know ho to deal with tragedy and problems
11. Have to spend time with your family – have dinner together.

15 C's of success

1. Charismatic - know how to work with people
2. Communication - you have to be able to talk. Readers are leaders.
3. Consistent - people should know what to expect
4. Compassionate - make notes and care about what is going on
5. Confident - "A vision is nothing more than a dream that comes true." -Les Wexner
6. Computerize - you have to be computer savvy
7. Cooperate - work with each other to build each other up
8. Credible - others have to be able to believe you
9. Courteous - treat each person you meet with the dignity and respect they deserve
10. Concise - Don't waffle or waiver and make the decision
11. Clever - you have to figure out how to get out of sticky situations
12. Charity - not just $$, but time and talents
13. Candid - if you are wrong, step up and say so. It's easier to eat crow when it's warm.
14. Capitalistic - know how to turn a profit on things you are good at doing.
15. Competent - be the expert and the master of something.

Satisfy your customers in this order

1. Customers
2. Employees
3. Vendors

Take care of your customers or your competition will be glad to do so, just ask them.

Imagine the best thing you could do everyday and figure out how to do it.

Herd Mentality - If you want to get to where everone else is, then follow the herd.

Tell the truth - Save your memory and creativity for things that are important. If you tell the truth you won't need to remember your lies.

Business - brand your business so when people think of your industry, they think of YOU!

If you ever have a doubt of doing something, think of your family. "Will my family be proud of this?"

Take care of disagreements with your partner behind closed doors, and say everything that is on your mind.

Thank you Rhett, I look forward to crossing paths again soon.

The message below is intended for recipient only...

Are you still reading?

How many of you have a disclaimer at the footer of your emails?

Does it actually mean anything? Would that actually protect you if you sent an email intended for the client and it went to their competitor?!

How about all those social media websites? Do my tweets really bind me to anything? Or does their have to be something more?

Find out the answer to these questions and a few of your own at an upcoming CYP CLUB event click here for more details http://tinyurl.com/cypnov4

Elephant in the room

In order to get an elephant to become tame they will use very, very heavy chains and then cuff one of its legs to a post.

Once the elephant awakens from the tranquilizer (you didn't think he would just come willingly, did you?) He is so angry that he fights with the strength of 100 pissed pachyderms. He rumbles and trumpets in anger until it has no more energy, no more effort, no more eagerness to escape.

Later the bold trainer removes the impossible-to-break chain and in its place ties a rope from the elephant's cuff to a mere stake in the ground. Now if you were tied down with rope you would likely be stuck just the same as the elephant's prior situation; however, with the strength of muscle on muscle a rope would be nothing more than a string to you and I.

On with the show. The depressed elephant which at one point was a titan has now succumbed to the simple bond of a rope. The elephant has been defeated physically but the real trick is that the pachyderm has been defeated mentally. You would be hard pressed to find an elephant that will break away simply because they don't think they can.

What dire life event did you go through that whipped you to the point that your spirit was deterred for good. Occasionally we experience something in life that so changes our way of thinking that it never crosses our mind that we can try again and that we might succeed.

Try again.

O-H-I-O

Governor Ted Strickland demonstrates some state spirit at the 2009 Ohio Young Professionals Weekend.

It's All About Character

During a lunch and learn hosted by Columbus Young Professionals Dr. Mike Thomson shared ways to save your sanity. These are my notes.

Dr. Mike starts out by pointing out that everyone needs to operate just like they are self-employed. You should have a sales department, a Marketing group, a Research and Development division, a production center, and most of all a quality control unit. Once you recognize the need for each of these areas then you can start to live.

Ways to Save your Sanity:

1. The only people without problems are dead.

Keep in mind that 80% of people have a JOB (just over broke) and then the remaining 20% are thinking differently.

Also you should notice that the Hearse never has a U-Haul following behind it.

2. The world is filled with a boatload of jerks

Dr. Mike shares how happy he is that these jerks are around. You see this gives you and I some advantages. The jerks are a great example. Yeah, and example of what not to be. Just watch them and then do the opposite.

3. In a tornado, even a turkey can fly.

You are never stuck unless you decide that there is no way out.

Beware the "Yeah, but ____ disease."

You are not depressed, you are depressing.

Spend only two minutes on a problem, then begin working to solve it.

The five ways to Save your Sanity:

The very contagious disease: Optimal Rectitus - otherwise known as having a crappy outlook

Good character is making good choices when no one else is watching.

Lures: Things people throw out to displace responsibility. Spit them out, it is up to you to take do everything you had control over. If other people choose not to accept their responsibility it does not automatically become yours to fix.

Put me in coach!

Exactly one week before I received my pink slip I happened to schedule a coaching session with someone I met through a networking event. It was her way of letting potential customers test her out.

We chatted for more than an hour about who I was and what I wanted out of life. When we set the appointment she asked me to write down the three wishes I would make if I were given Aladdin's lamp.

1. Backpack across Europe
2. Live with a native African tribe
3. Be rich and famous for product design

When diving into our conversation I assumed we would talk about how I would get to those wishes by turning them into goals. Then as we talked I soon realized it wasn't about achieving those wishes as much as it was about discovering what was preventing me from laying hold of them.

After fully describing my first wish she asked me about the benefits of a European excursion and why I would want such a event. When I stopped tripping over my reasons the heart of the motivation was that I wanted to share stories and be that interesting person who has trekked across the mother land.

Since this nice chat I have repeatedly asked myself, "Why do I want to be interesting to others, what is the point of that?"

People Pleasers

This title has been assigned to many, as well as self-proclaimed. Usually when attributed it is not in the context of compliments. I think it might fall in the category of, "We stopped dating because he was too nice."

Isn't pleasing someone a good thing? Shouldn't we seek to make others happy and content?

I suppose overextending ourselves and pushing our boundaries to meet this end is why such a label has come to stink-so-sweet like that of a skunk.

Are you aware of your motivations? Are you a people pleaser?