The need to help

Pawan Murthy spoke at the October 5, 2010 Columbus Young Professionals networking breakfast, here are my notes.

Psychological Egoism - there is no deed that is unselfish (selfless)

I am ok with this theory. If everyone did this and realized it was beneficial, it would happen a lot more often.

Steve Geyer, Founder Shadowbox

The people who know you denots the currency of your success (quality  and quantity, ex: 1M pesos vs 10USD)

Dont put all your emotional eggs in one basket. If you spread things out when something fails all is not lost.

Guard your reputation with you life.

What struggles have you overcome?
What struggles are you working to overcome?

Consider helping others out.  A good way to decide how you want to help is by reviewing the needs of persons.  Maslow's hierarchy is a framework of an individuals needs.

I wonder, is there a group hierarchy of needs framework?
Where do you help?

You, inc.

Ben Blanquera was the guest speaker at the December 2010 CYP CLUB networking breakfast. Here are my notes:

1. What are the five most important things to me? 
2. What are the five areas of my life to which I dedicate the most time? 
3. Do they align? 

Consider treating yourself and guideing your decisions as if you were a incorporated business.

Your assets would be:

1. What you know 
2. Who you know 
3. (I would add, Who knows you)

Also, consider this:

Please allow myself to introduce...myself

Not to be pretentious, but I thought it would be interesting to learn what the proper etiquette is when introducing others. Here is an answer I found online:

When introducing two people to each other, you do need to remember precedence (the order in which people are addressed, greeted, introduced, referred, seated and served.)

In both formal and informal social settings, women have precedence over men; older people over younger (as long as they are the same gender); smaller groups usually over larger groups.

Senior executives have precedence over Junior executives. If there are two of the same rank, defer to the one with seniority.

Clients and customers have precedence over fellow associates, regardless of rank.

When making introductions always remember to:

1. Determine the order of precedence.
2. Say the most distinguished person's first and last name or title and last name, first, while looking at him or her. Use appropriate names and titles.
3. Choose appropriate introductions, for example: Formal - "Rev. Jones, may I present...Mr. Smith", Business or social - "Ms. Green, may I introduce...Mr. White"; or
"Mr. Client, I would like to introduce...Mr. Co-Worker"; Casual - "Susan Smith,this is...Bob Jones", may appear unsophisticated, especially in a business setting.
4. Always stand for introductions and make eye contact.
5. Always introduce people by their preferential name.

Thank you for writing.

Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
Dr. Manners

Now the big test is remembering the title for each person.

Words of wisdom from ar-tic-u-la-tion

When preparing for you next presentation remember:

1. It's all about the audience
2. Don't be nervous
3. Slow it down
4. Body talk matters
5. Tell me the time, not how the watch is made

HA!

• Take a deep breath
• shrug your shoulders
• laugh out loud, you have nervousness in you body - release it through laughter

65%

• Non-verbal communication is 65% of your presentation
• eye contact, posture, clothing, facial expressions, tone/volume, hands gestures
• Avoid the ping-pong head (looking side-to side across the audience, express one thought, then switch eye contact
• Avoid moving your hands before you speak, gesture along with voice and tone

"That that is is that that is not is not"

• Speak like a sentence with punctuation, otherwise you sound really strange. "That that is, is. That that is not, is not"
• For a comma: pause
• For a period: take a breath
• After a paragraph: swallow
• Silence can be very powerful, it allows people to process what you have said

Case in Point

• Answer one question
• Highlight one point
• Then use the rest of your time to provide support to that one point

Going the distance

The first Tuesday of each month the CYP CLUB hosts a Speaker Networking Breakfast at the Champps Restaurant in the Lennox Town Center, if you are interested in joining email me.

On December 1st we were honored to welcome Debra Penzone, President of The Charles Penzone, Family of Salons. Debra addressed the issue of customer service and how to go the distance and she gave one of the most dynamic and well-planned presentations I have seen in a while.

The key takeaway for me was the statistics on first impressions. Penzone highlighted that when you meet someone for the first time they are “documenting” who you are and therefore are making assumptions based on what is before them that you are always “that way.”

For example when you meet someone if you are mumbley and grumbley they infer that is how you regularly act. On the converse if you present a pleasant posture they will believe you to be positive.

The cliché of “You can never make a second impression” heavily leans on this notion. When making new acquaintances, be sure to make the extra effort to be yourself, if only for the first time.

My second takeaway was how important what you aren’t saying. As it turns out only 7% of dialogue communication is based on the content. The rest is a mix of vocal tone, and body language. Even body language is comprised of many subsets such as, hand gestures, stance and posture, eyebrows and facial expressions. Debra incorporated the whole mixture very well as she paced the floor, emphasized expressions with her hands, and included the all important pause.

Many thanks to Debra Penzone for spending her morning with the Columbus Young Professionals and sharing her insights and wisdom on customer services.

Ricart, we're motivating

On Tuesday October 6 Rhett Ricart joined the Columbus Young Professionals at our monthly networking breakfast to speak about life and business. He shared a laundry list of things.

Top 11 biggest mistakes

1. Don’t short yourself – get a good bank relationship
2. Get an estate plan
3. Use consultants pay your vendors first
4. Get a good HR director
5. Don’t let your sales outrun your service
6. Don’t teach your people to steal
7. If you cant come to work positive – stay home! Always keep a positive mental attitude
8. Phone etiquette – first and last name and answer with a smile
9. Pay your secretary/assistant the most you can afford
10. Hire by emotional intelligence – they know ho to deal with tragedy and problems
11. Have to spend time with your family – have dinner together.

15 C's of success

1. Charismatic - know how to work with people
2. Communication - you have to be able to talk. Readers are leaders.
3. Consistent - people should know what to expect
4. Compassionate - make notes and care about what is going on
5. Confident - "A vision is nothing more than a dream that comes true." -Les Wexner
6. Computerize - you have to be computer savvy
7. Cooperate - work with each other to build each other up
8. Credible - others have to be able to believe you
9. Courteous - treat each person you meet with the dignity and respect they deserve
10. Concise - Don't waffle or waiver and make the decision
11. Clever - you have to figure out how to get out of sticky situations
12. Charity - not just $$, but time and talents
13. Candid - if you are wrong, step up and say so. It's easier to eat crow when it's warm.
14. Capitalistic - know how to turn a profit on things you are good at doing.
15. Competent - be the expert and the master of something.

Satisfy your customers in this order

1. Customers
2. Employees
3. Vendors

Take care of your customers or your competition will be glad to do so, just ask them.

Imagine the best thing you could do everyday and figure out how to do it.

Herd Mentality - If you want to get to where everone else is, then follow the herd.

Tell the truth - Save your memory and creativity for things that are important. If you tell the truth you won't need to remember your lies.

Business - brand your business so when people think of your industry, they think of YOU!

If you ever have a doubt of doing something, think of your family. "Will my family be proud of this?"

Take care of disagreements with your partner behind closed doors, and say everything that is on your mind.

Thank you Rhett, I look forward to crossing paths again soon.

Junto Meeting

Ben Franklin had a group that would meet and these are the following questions they would use to spur conversation...

This is the list of questions Franklin devised to guide the discussions at Junto meetings.

1. Have you met with any thing in the author you last read, remarkable, or suitable to be communicated to the Junto? particularly in history, morality, poetry, physics, travels, mechanic arts, or other parts of knowledge?

2. What new story have you lately heard agreeable for telling in conversation?

3. Hath any citizen in your knowledge failed in his business lately, and what have you heard of the cause?

4. Have you lately heard of any citizenís thriving well, and by what means?

5. Have you lately heard how any present rich man, here or elsewhere, got his estate?

6. Do you know of any fellow citizen, who has lately done a worthy action, deserving praise and imitation? or who has committed an error proper for us to be warned against and avoid?

7. What unhappy effects of intemperance have you lately observed or heard? of imprudence? of passion? or of any other vice or folly?

8. What happy effects of temperance? of prudence? of moderation? or of any other virtue?

9. Have you or any of your acquaintance been lately sick or wounded? If so, what remedies were used, and what were their effects?

10. Who do you know that are shortly going [on] voyages or journies, if one should have occasion to send by them?

11. Do you think of any thing at present, in which the Junto may be serviceable to mankind? to their country, to their friends, or to themselves?

12. Hath any deserving stranger arrived in town since last meeting, that you heard of? and what have you heard or observed of his character or merits? and whether think you, it lies in the power of the Junto to oblige him, or encourage him as he deserves?

13. Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to encourage?

14. Have you lately observed any defect in the laws of your country, of which it would be proper to move the legislature an amendment? Or do you know of any beneficial law that is wanting?

15. Have you lately observed any encroachment on the just liberties of the people?

16. Hath any body attacked your reputation lately? and what can the Junto do towards securing it?

17. Is there any man whose friendship you want, and which the Junto, or any of them, can procure for you?

18. Have you lately heard any memberís character attacked, and how have you defended it?

19. Hath any man injured you, from whom it is in the power of the Junto to procure redress?

20. In what manner can the Junto, or any of them, assist you in any of your honourable designs?

21. Have you any weighty affair in hand, in which you think the advice of the Junto may be of service?

22. What benefits have you lately received from any man not present?

23. Is there any difficulty in matters of opinion, of justice, and injustice, which you would gladly have discussed at this time?

24. Do you see any thing amiss in the present customs or proceedings of the Junto, which might be amended?

Fundamentals for group work

Not too long ago a great man became a greater man when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and lived beyond the doctor's expectations. That man was Randy Pausch, among many things he was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University.

During his time there he conducted a lot of research and taught classes. At the start of each class term he would divide the class into groups and encourage them to work as a group. Below is a list of encouragements he would give them lest they made it this far and still weren't sure how to play together.

• Meet people properly - exchange contact information, make sure you can pronounce everyone's name
• Find things you have in common - sports, the weather
• Try for optimal meeting conditions - no one is hungry / cold / tired, a great time to meet is over a meal
• Let everyone speak - don't interrupt, don't finish other's sentences
• Check egos at the door - label ideas appropriately (the Bridge Story, not Jane's story)
• Praise each other - even the worst ideas still have silver linings
• Phrase alternatives as questions - Instead of: "I think we should do A and not B." Try: "What if we do A and not B?"
• Sit together

Of course this seems very basic and could be insulting to those in grad school. But I share it with you because often we don't need to be told anything new, just reminded of what we may already know.

Put me in coach!

Exactly one week before I received my pink slip I happened to schedule a coaching session with someone I met through a networking event. It was her way of letting potential customers test her out.

We chatted for more than an hour about who I was and what I wanted out of life. When we set the appointment she asked me to write down the three wishes I would make if I were given Aladdin's lamp.

1. Backpack across Europe
2. Live with a native African tribe
3. Be rich and famous for product design

When diving into our conversation I assumed we would talk about how I would get to those wishes by turning them into goals. Then as we talked I soon realized it wasn't about achieving those wishes as much as it was about discovering what was preventing me from laying hold of them.

After fully describing my first wish she asked me about the benefits of a European excursion and why I would want such a event. When I stopped tripping over my reasons the heart of the motivation was that I wanted to share stories and be that interesting person who has trekked across the mother land.

Since this nice chat I have repeatedly asked myself, "Why do I want to be interesting to others, what is the point of that?"

People Pleasers

This title has been assigned to many, as well as self-proclaimed. Usually when attributed it is not in the context of compliments. I think it might fall in the category of, "We stopped dating because he was too nice."

Isn't pleasing someone a good thing? Shouldn't we seek to make others happy and content?

I suppose overextending ourselves and pushing our boundaries to meet this end is why such a label has come to stink-so-sweet like that of a skunk.

Are you aware of your motivations? Are you a people pleaser?

Family Tree

Earlier today I started emailing people for the family tree. My last name is somewhat unique, at least that is what I thought. I went through Facebook to find over 30 people with the name Davlin. Some even held it as their first name.

What I know so far is that the Davlin's came from Ireland and apparently spread around. I hope to link up some of these people and see how wide my paternal side runs.

As for my mom's side it is more of a mystery. She learned around the age of 40 that she was adopted. Which leaves my maternal side at a question.

If you know any Davlins pass on my info. I will try to chart the progress here as I learn more.

I am not sure what my motivation is just yet for charting my family tree, I am sure I will learn it as I go.