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Please Don't Go, Stick Around for 0 More Emails

Typically I delete the spam and junk mail that I receive. Ever so often I spend time finding the 'unsubscribe' link buried at the bottom of the email and try to prevent unwanted emails from ever coming. 

Today the unsub link brought be here: 

Although it seemed a little bit like they were begging for mercy, I was impressed by the second option 'I'll try [ ] more Emails'

The field was defaulted to zero though, which I found odd. At least change it to 1.
I was very curious to see if those last few emails would have included anything extra as to allure me into unsubscribing or if perhaps there would be a confirmation or warning email that our last agreement was about to end. 

What do you think?

Put it in reverse

In like a lamb...

Leap day spiked at 70f

And then crocus' pop up.

An elevated point of view

29th floor of nationwide plaza 1

A.S.I.C.S.

Experience ColumbUS

On March 8 I went to the Experience Columbus Annual Meeting.

Among other awesome speeches, they also unveiled the new logo/campaign for the bicentennial.

Building the anticipation

Skyline Exhibits of Central Ohio hosted a great seminar on Sept 16, 2010.  It covered the marketing insights and ideas for a good tradeshow booth.  Here are my notes:

SESSION #1: MARKETING AT TRADE-SHOWS
Kim Allen, Sudden Impact Marketing 

Pre-show Message:
Build the whole presentation around the message
Make it easy to understand
Concise
Help people get to the show - send them tickets, tell them where your booth is located,
Buy a database or use your current list. If you are exhibiting you might have access to attendee names.
Promote your booth well in advance via multiple channels (online, direct mail, print, radio, email, etc.)
A phone campaign can go a long way.
Consider sponsoring the show, your name can then be more visible

At the show
Explore opportunities for having your name to be more than just at your booth.
The large hotels near the show might have sponsor options
get a list of attendees that are staying at the hotel
hang a banner in the hotel
sponsor doorknob hang tags
closed circuit ads

Follow-up
phone/email/visits
take notes during your conversations so when you follow-up the conversation can continue
Nurture the leads with visits and a planned follow-up schedule
Put your company name right in the subject line 

SESSION #2: LEAD MANAGEMENT
Fred Tuzzi, TriComB2B

You need a system that allows leads to come in, qualify, follow-ups

Paying for a badge scanner is a good idea

Suggested timeline:
Show
post-show email with link to micro site with mini survey.
*call them, identify if hot, cold, or non-lead
hot leads go to sales
cold leads get email a month later
Repeat*
hot to sales
cold to trash

BOOTH DESIGN
Kyle Hickman, Cult Marketing

Discover- ethnography quality trumps quantity
Develop- take info from D1 and create a brand strategy (operations, products, marketing)
Deliver- brand roadmap

Plan of attack - Establish your goals
why are you there?
what results do you want?
a plan that leads your audience towards your goal
goal options- traffic and leads, awareness, show/demo product

Message
know your audience
persuade through emotion
convince them rationally

Attract from a distance
even before they are at your booth they should want to find your booth
create visual interest

Get them inside your booth
popcorn
consider the traffic flow - there needs to be an in/out and a pit stop

Show them the way to your goal
[Christine - painting girls on hillside barn, sun in sky]
Dominant, subdominant, subordinate

Deliver the goods
Staff appropriately
make an impression
hand out efficient materials

Research
hire a third party to call your target clients and ask them who they plan to see and why
ask your clients what they liked about your booth and adjust

And to top it off, I won the raffle prize of a lunch bag from TriComB2B

The need to help

Pawan Murthy spoke at the October 5, 2010 Columbus Young Professionals networking breakfast, here are my notes.

Psychological Egoism - there is no deed that is unselfish (selfless)

I am ok with this theory. If everyone did this and realized it was beneficial, it would happen a lot more often.

Steve Geyer, Founder Shadowbox

The people who know you denots the currency of your success (quality  and quantity, ex: 1M pesos vs 10USD)

Dont put all your emotional eggs in one basket. If you spread things out when something fails all is not lost.

Guard your reputation with you life.

What struggles have you overcome?
What struggles are you working to overcome?

Consider helping others out.  A good way to decide how you want to help is by reviewing the needs of persons.  Maslow's hierarchy is a framework of an individuals needs.

I wonder, is there a group hierarchy of needs framework?
Where do you help?

You, inc.

Ben Blanquera was the guest speaker at the December 2010 CYP CLUB networking breakfast. Here are my notes:

1. What are the five most important things to me? 
2. What are the five areas of my life to which I dedicate the most time? 
3. Do they align? 

Consider treating yourself and guideing your decisions as if you were a incorporated business.

Your assets would be:

1. What you know 
2. Who you know 
3. (I would add, Who knows you)

Also, consider this:

No cutting corners

Wendy served me today!
She seemed reluctant to get her picture taken.  I would think that if she would dress like Wendy she would ham it up.
No worries, I still enjoyed my Jr Bacon Cheesburger

Lizard man

I went to the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions (IAAPA) in Orlando, Florida.

"Ripley's Believe It or Not" had a booth. The Lizard Man is as a cool guy. Which one do you think is real?

Thanks to Shana for taking my photo with my non-user friendly phone.

I saw this outside of the AMC theatre in the Lennox town centre.  Not sure what they are doing with all the trees. For a moment I felt like The Lorax.

An Evening with Matt Groening

Matt Groening discussed his career in comics and television with Tom Gammill, an acclaimed writer/producer/cartoonist, who has written for such programs as Seinfeld, Late Night with David Letterman, and The Simpsons.

After Groening and Gammill came out, they thanked everyone for coming and introduced a video with some of their favorite clips, also it had some cool entrance music.

Groening shared some great examples of his early work on Life Is Hell and shared his inspirations.

By the end of the session they welcomed questions from the audience.  I didn't have a full idea of what I wanted to ask, but I could not resist the chance to ask something to the creator of The Simpsons.

Only moments after my question I started thinking of better questions.

• "Mr Groening, thanks for coming out tonight.  Could you share how The Simpsons has had to deal with pressure from the networks to include in-show advertising?"
• "Throughout all your experiences what has been the biggest frustration or struggle and how have you dealt with it, and what did it teach you?"

I can't recall the exact question or my phrasing, but it was something to the effect of "You had already mentioned a little about how other cartoons have been an inspiration, can you comment on how Itchy and Scratchy were created and maybe the influence of Tom and Jerry?"  

Groening responded with yeah [something, something]  and then I asked if they ever really completed an episode - especially the one when the nerds unplugged the TV.  He's tried to pitch a full episode of Itchy and Scratchy but it was not received well by the other writers, and so they have never written an full episode.

Here is a follow-up article by the Dispatch

Recently I was downtown and I noticed the bicycle posts were masked for painting.  This seemed normal, except when I got to this bicycle post.  

At first glance I thought the rider made a bad decision by locking on a post which obviously was going to be painted.

Then upon closer inspection I noticed the rider was an early-bird, and not a do-do.

Car powered by ... wind?

There is something new on the skyline of Northwest Central Ohio, a 150 foot wind turbine.

Apparently Byers Auto Group decided to build a wind turbine so as to be nice to the environment.

My estimation is that it is the most extreme of attraction stunts.

Ohio Department of Development Export Awards Luncheon

Ohio DOD Global Export Awards luncheon.

One of the honorees was the Columbus Washboard Company.  I was entertained to learn that they are the last US manufacturer of washboards.

Digital non conference 9-22-10

Notes from September 22, 2010 Digital Non-conference lunch discussion panel (left to right):

• Dave Knox- CMO, Rockfish (moderator)
• America Ferrera - "Ugly Betty"
• Pete Blackshaw - EVP Digital Strategic Services, Nielsen Online
• Drew Buckley- COO, Electus 

Some interesting stats from a video by Nielsen Catalina Ventures

• 59% of us families use TV and the net simultaneously
• By 2020 less than 30% of us households will have kids and most will be multicultural
• 1 in 4 ppl have access to a pc in world

How will the telenovela change things?

BUCKLEY: The Hispanic audience in LA is greater than the population of Chicago. We have to consider building entertainment beyond Univision or Telemundo. So we took the concept of "Pedro and Maria" to MTV. 

But there are problems with who gets the international rights. The network wants rights to produce the concept or shows in order to develop varaiations abroad.

What does digital media do to help you sell?

FERRERA:  The content has to be good first and foremost.  I didn't have choice of having a digital image or not, it was more so deciding to manage it or not.  For example: my friends would text and say, "I'm following you [on Twitter]" and I didn't even know what they meant at the time.   

Digital media has really helped me stay in touch with the fan base.  For example: on my birthday I would say to my fans, "for my bday donate a few bucks to this fund to build schools."   

Pedro and Maria is a great example to develop mainstream shows.  Growing up I was a Latina, but at the same time I was a Latina-teen in a USA surrounding.  

What impact do you see digital involvement impacting success of brands?

BUCKLEY: Fred was successful on YouTube so execs took him and developed his work into traditional media.  It was a risk to take digital to television, but the reality is, is that he brought the viewers.   

A big question is, how do you get the two connected?   Fantasy football has what it takes, since guys are interested to watch on TV and track on-line.

BLACKSHAW: The trifecta of paid media was this year: olympics, soccer, super bowl

BUCKLEY: Fan clubs don't have presidents (or leadership) it is self-lead and evolves all on it's own.

FERRERA: I recently did the first FaceBook talk show about the Dry Land and thousands of people now know about an independent film which otherwise they may not have learned of it since there was no marketing dollars available.

Having the status updates come from the source as opposed to a fan club president garners a much better response.

What do you see the role of brands in future entertainment?

BUCKLEY: It will be hard for brands to reach consumers via broadcast.  Keep in mind Twitter was not part of our lexicon 2008.  The goal then is to identify the solid story so branding can be built upon it.

BLACKSHAW:  Brands will evolve into more of an experience.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS:
What would you have done differently in franchising biggest lose?

BUCKLEY: The Biggest Loser started working with Subway and 24/7 Fitness and other sponsors and help them get media buys.

How do you balance authenticity of a personal brand versus a "faceless" brand?

BLACKSHAW:  How to stay authentic? I make sure I believe in the content and It will be good.  If you compromise the show with poor brand content it will for sure get you.

How do address the negative things in social media?

BLACKSHAW: I don't address them, rather I move toward the things that are popular. It was scary to put myself out there since there were not boundaries. When something bad does happen usually the other fans attack the villan

BUCKLEY:  Sometimes the best approach for monitoring social media is to let it float (whether good or bad), and see where it goes.

How will the social-media interactions play out on Pedro and Maria?

BUCKLEY: We are just getting into the planning and development and writing, butt it will cover things like advising/deciding what music will play when they first kiss.  Just like The Hills decision of LC going to France vs staying with boy friend.

Population of Hispanic in LA is equal to the population of Chicago. How will you balance the need for local markets (ex Midwest, east cost)?

BUCKLEY:  It doesn't mean that it is just in south west. It has to be about content, the fact that they are Latino is nonessential.

BLACKSHAW:  Most people have an latent desire to be Latino.

--

The discussion panel was really enjoyable and it opened my eyes to the trends of where television shows are headed.  I plan to attend the full non-conference next year.

Cats and Dogs

The Siberian Lynx has the largest hind leg among the felines. When running on snow the unique leg allows weight to be distributed over more area (much like a snow shoe) this trait is especially beneficial when chasing fast food.

At this moment this frisky feline noticed was eyeing the dingo, the zookeeper said the Lynx would be very happy to take the canine to dinner (if you know what I mean.)

I got to see these animals and a few other while at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society Dinner of Champions which was held at the Columbus Zoo.

Congratulations to Jack Hanna for being named Columbus Dinner of Champions Honoree.

Friday was on fire

Sarah and I made the trip downtown for the free show of WaterFire and Ballet Met's preview show. It was a lot of fun.

Please allow myself to introduce...myself

Not to be pretentious, but I thought it would be interesting to learn what the proper etiquette is when introducing others. Here is an answer I found online:

When introducing two people to each other, you do need to remember precedence (the order in which people are addressed, greeted, introduced, referred, seated and served.)

In both formal and informal social settings, women have precedence over men; older people over younger (as long as they are the same gender); smaller groups usually over larger groups.

Senior executives have precedence over Junior executives. If there are two of the same rank, defer to the one with seniority.

Clients and customers have precedence over fellow associates, regardless of rank.

When making introductions always remember to:

1. Determine the order of precedence.
2. Say the most distinguished person's first and last name or title and last name, first, while looking at him or her. Use appropriate names and titles.
3. Choose appropriate introductions, for example: Formal - "Rev. Jones, may I present...Mr. Smith", Business or social - "Ms. Green, may I introduce...Mr. White"; or
"Mr. Client, I would like to introduce...Mr. Co-Worker"; Casual - "Susan Smith,this is...Bob Jones", may appear unsophisticated, especially in a business setting.
4. Always stand for introductions and make eye contact.
5. Always introduce people by their preferential name.

Thank you for writing.

Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
Dr. Manners

Now the big test is remembering the title for each person.

Florida vacation

We were so lucky this year to have discovered "Sarah's Seaside" located in Indian Rocks Beach, FL. We left Friday after work, slept in Tennessee that night - then on to paradise for a week.

Our condo was situated right on the beach front with our own private beach chairs. The ocean was so warm we could float as long as we wanted. Our little community had a heated pool and a few other families that were all friendly.

We only left the property for some rides down the bike path running alongside Gulf Blvd and a trip to the happiest place on Earth. It was a terrific vacation, full of relaxation - we can't wait to go back.

The Ohio State Fair

My little lamb, petting a little lamb.

I am gonna make you pop-u-hoo-lar

We received an amazing gift from my parents for our third wedding anniversary.Turns out being Wicked simply is just being misunderstood. Great show, I highly recommend it.

Christmas in July

The Cleverley's left town in early July and we wanted to welcome them home.

Monkey see, monkey doo-doo

According to their style, Nick and Heidi tossed sock monkeys to the single crowd instead of the traditional bouquet and garter.  Great ceremony, fun reception, wonderful couple. We wish you the best in Arizona.

Governor's mansion visit 2010

The Young Professionals of Ohio were welcomed to the Governor's mansion for a picnic, June 2010. Yvette McGee Brown, Rob Davlin, Gov. Ted Strickland, Derek Grosso, Richard Cordray.

Excerpt from Sales Secrets

These are the levels that a sales person has to go through when meeting with a new prospect.

Unknown 
Known
Socialization:
Emotional-ization: There is an exchange of information on a personal level

Confidence: It is not until this level that the prospect can truly be comfortable with the rep and share vulnerable information without fear of manipulation.

by Stephen Schiffman

Zing-Zang-Zoom

At the last minute a good friend passed some Barnum and Bailey Circus tickets our way. We felt like kids again.

I have discovered something that I am sure the Circus talent has been doing for a long time now, and if not - they should. During the night incredible acts were performed with unique skill that captured the most of the audience's attention. However, it was in the brief moments that their balance was off and with arms flailing it brought you to the edge of your seat. Whether they do this on purpose or not those are the moments I was most engaged and entertained.

Don't let Mr. Gravity bring you down.

Q's on First

The numbers on my phone have 1 at the top left, then run sequentially left-right, top-bottom.

same with the copier in the office.
same as garage door keycodes

The numbers on my calculator have the 1 at the bottom left, then run sequentially left-right, bottom-top.  Same as the onscreen calculator, same as my keyboard.  I wonder why some product arrange one way and some the other.

 What examples can you think of in your life?

Words of wisdom from ar-tic-u-la-tion

When preparing for you next presentation remember:

1. It's all about the audience
2. Don't be nervous
3. Slow it down
4. Body talk matters
5. Tell me the time, not how the watch is made

HA!

• Take a deep breath
• shrug your shoulders
• laugh out loud, you have nervousness in you body - release it through laughter

65%

• Non-verbal communication is 65% of your presentation
• eye contact, posture, clothing, facial expressions, tone/volume, hands gestures
• Avoid the ping-pong head (looking side-to side across the audience, express one thought, then switch eye contact
• Avoid moving your hands before you speak, gesture along with voice and tone

"That that is is that that is not is not"

• Speak like a sentence with punctuation, otherwise you sound really strange. "That that is, is. That that is not, is not"
• For a comma: pause
• For a period: take a breath
• After a paragraph: swallow
• Silence can be very powerful, it allows people to process what you have said

Case in Point

• Answer one question
• Highlight one point
• Then use the rest of your time to provide support to that one point

You're so trendy

Trying to identify what is coming up next with enough time to design and develop it takes some skill. You have to see what was in the past (rearview mirror) while at the same time be aware of what is currently in front of you.

This past Friday, April 16, 2010 I traveled down to Cincinnati to attend the AMA luncheon.

This month the guest speaker was Brian Meyers, LPK Trends. Brian's title is "Trend Forecaster"

My notes can hardly do the presentation justice, but here they are anyway:

What are trends?
A general direction, or movement over time They rep the evolution of ideas

Socio-cultural trends
Longer lasting ideas that represent and reflect how peoples lifestyle has changed

Once we identify a trend then we can attempt to create "Future States" Since we design for the world of tomorrow you have to "look" ahead.

6 trends that could lead to new Future States

1. Simplistic of slowdown

• VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous)
• The most valuable luxury is that which cannot be replicated
  
• Purposeful accumulation
  
• Touch of the hand adds meaning and value
  
• Consumer: is no longer appropriate
• Prosumer: a combination of producer and consumer model
  
• Transumer: someone interested in "barter and share" oriented products
  
• Connoisseumer: People are well suited shoppers with refined palates who employ their expertise to evaluate value

2. Alternative Economies
People use resources differently now

• Chris Anderson - is a thought leader
• Rentalism: Why buy? Rent and/or share and collaborate on goods and services
• Example: Hilti Contractors identified that owning tools no longer had pride inmpliciy. So they started a share loan tool program - it has been very successful
• Currency limitations
• Reputation of state of account. Build on the habits of referrals, recommendations, link-throughs, retweets, etc.
• Free: Google-411 is doing phone information and they are recording voice to then build a solid voice recognition software
  

3. Maker culture
People become the own producer marketer

• Crowdsouring: Local motors sources it's design by 4000 local designers Threadless. Tshirt company that is opensource and turns into production that vote winning product.
• Desktop fabrication: Bringing rapid prototyping to people
  
• Ex - Reprap. It is a 3d printer that should hook upto the $100 laptop Electrolux molecaire. 3d printer that makes food
  

4. Robotic rivals

• Generative architecture: Software can examine the landscape and suggest an amorphous and natural shape that will match the landscape
• Shiseido makeup mirror
• Self evolving robots
  

5. Seamless online and offline reality
Digital natives are not able to answer, "how much time do you spend online or offline?"- they see it the same.

• Transmedia storytelling
• MIT scientist Henry Jenkins
  

6. Neuro printers

• Books.
• Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness
• Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior
• Extra sensory
• 21 senses -Electroreception; Synesthesia; Flavor tripping
  

--
Take aways:
Market or innovate with the consumer behaviors
Deconstruct communication to enable transmedia storytelling
Convert consumers into ambassadors and fans
Give consumers a platform to tell their own stories
Provide an experience for the consumer

Rick Springfield

Sarah and I went to the Rick Springfield concert at the LC Pavilion. It was pretty funny watching the older fan crowd, it was a little like the movie Music & Lyrics.

Easter is Egg-celent

(From L to R: Pig, Wiseman1, Mary, Wiseman2, Joseph, Wiseman3, Cattle.)

I have not decorated eggs in many years. This year Sarah and I went to her parents house and we had a lot of fun being creative.

36,001

Guess I am on my own now, goodbye warranty.

If you don't litter...

Let's review.

• A picture of a person littering.
• A large red circle with a line through it, indicating it's a no-no.
• A gavel with $500 near it.

Interpretation: If I [don't] litter, I will be fined $500 in court.

hmm.

Fine dining in London and Brazil

Here are a few restaurants that I had the chance to visit while in London and Brazil in 2007.

LONDON

Souk Restaurant

Rasa Samudra

The Red Fort

BRAZIL

Marius Degustare

Fogo De Chão

Color your world

During the CONES event of 2009 I stumbled upon the International Bootstrapping Association's (IBA) table. It was a nice surprise. Kevin Gadd shared the concept with me and how the meetings work. Essentially small business owners and entrepreneurs get together and share best practices on a given topic. I was hooked.

As I was weighing through all the goodies and business cards the following day I decided to dig deeper on the IBA. Come to find out the meeting would be held at The DEC (The Dublin Entrepreneurial Center) and I was just waiting for an excuse to make my way over there. The given topic for our meeting was customer service.

The ground rules that they set up were quite helpful. You can just imagine, a colleague shares a problem and then one by one each business owner ripe with knowledge and wisdom shoots out of the gate with, "Well you should do this, and you should try that." That didn't happen. One of the guidelines included that your contributions of wisdom are best told in story form and that they be told in first person.

I was shocked how much more thought had to go into my responses.

One thing in particular that I wanted to share was the concern that led to branding, more specifically personal branding. One of the members shared how he has decide to take on a color as part of his business brand as well as his personal brand. This way anytime someone saw that color orange they would think of him, and his business. Does this make sense, and most of all, does it work? Well, large companies do this, why shouldn't small business owners do the same?

While growing up my family used to joke that I whenever you accidentally wore all the same color that you were like one of the Power Rangers. You remember them right? The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers would strut around in their street clothes which just so happen to be their signature color until it was time to fight crime, then they break out the Ranger Suits.

Can we 'claim' colors as businesses? What about as a business person? And if so, do I need to declare it, or would it be something that people eventually detect after several meetings?

It has been often said, "We don't buy from a company, we buy from people." So then should the 'people' be branded too?

Gee, Rob sure does where a lot of blue

Foresight is 2010

Once a mistake has been made, or a experience has been fully realized someone often sighs, "Hindsight is 20/20."

20/20 refers to visual acuity, and is considered to be the normal ability. Often when a bad experience is over and done, you have the clarity to look back and decide what would have been better. If hindsight is 20/20, does that mean foresight is 20/10?

I contend that it is.

Over the last year I have become quite engaged in social media and in particular the option to keep a web log. When considering my goals for 2010 I couldn't help but think about the benefits of taking time to think, write, and reflect. My goal for 2010 is actually a long-range which simply starts today, 01.01.10.

I will write [at least] one blog on robdavlin.com each week until 2020.

What do I expect to gain from such a simple goal?

• Clarity: just as I mentioned earlier in the cliche, "Hindsight is 20/20," I am hoping that my weekly reflections provide insight, and eventually foresight.
• Documentation: when I shared my new goal with my wife, she responded with the wonder of how much our lives will change over the next ten years, let alone the changes in society, technology, and economy.
• Increase personal brand equity: my latest professional success was the result of a combination of my personality, networking skills, and social media presence. My hope is that consistent blogging will yield continued to success.

What is your Foresight for 2010?

Going the distance

The first Tuesday of each month the CYP CLUB hosts a Speaker Networking Breakfast at the Champps Restaurant in the Lennox Town Center, if you are interested in joining email me.

On December 1st we were honored to welcome Debra Penzone, President of The Charles Penzone, Family of Salons. Debra addressed the issue of customer service and how to go the distance and she gave one of the most dynamic and well-planned presentations I have seen in a while.

The key takeaway for me was the statistics on first impressions. Penzone highlighted that when you meet someone for the first time they are “documenting” who you are and therefore are making assumptions based on what is before them that you are always “that way.”

For example when you meet someone if you are mumbley and grumbley they infer that is how you regularly act. On the converse if you present a pleasant posture they will believe you to be positive.

The cliché of “You can never make a second impression” heavily leans on this notion. When making new acquaintances, be sure to make the extra effort to be yourself, if only for the first time.

My second takeaway was how important what you aren’t saying. As it turns out only 7% of dialogue communication is based on the content. The rest is a mix of vocal tone, and body language. Even body language is comprised of many subsets such as, hand gestures, stance and posture, eyebrows and facial expressions. Debra incorporated the whole mixture very well as she paced the floor, emphasized expressions with her hands, and included the all important pause.

Many thanks to Debra Penzone for spending her morning with the Columbus Young Professionals and sharing her insights and wisdom on customer services.

The pebble in my boot...

The pebble in my boot is a greater obstacle than the boulder in my path.

Last Tuesday I rummaged to the back of the closet to locate my snow boots. I hadn't seen them since the beginning of 2009. As I get more prepared to start the walk to the park my dog, Lionel, becomes increasingly excited; and more difficult to manage. Due to this overwhelming zeal for exercise I failed to notice a pebble in my left boot.

As I began to pace my way toward the park I simply yielded to the annoyance in my boot and occasionally waggled my toes to shift the stone to irritate a different spot on my foot.

This was not the first time I experienced a rock in my shoe, but it was then that I was able to finalize the proverb that was waiting to be discovered. You see in life everyday we encounter all sorts of difficulties and challenges. Unexpected tasks, and projects that raise their head only to reroute the day's plan.

However I believe that those tasks and ventures although seemingly large and merit sheer mastery to overcome are still external. They will always be something outside of us that if we so choose we could choose to not do them. Or to put it another way, choose to do them differently than initially we observe them to be done.

Furthermore, "the pebble in my boot" is alluding to the great obstacle within us. That is something that we must battle and triumph. Keep in mind that it is small in size, and weak in mass, yet it is large in our own life.

Can you relate? What is the pebble in your boot?

Out of the mouth, the heart speaks.

On December 2, 2009 I had the privilege of hearing Artie Isaac speak on The demise of polite conversation. The above link will take you to the video, check out 44:00 for my cameo.

My notes:

Etiqutte evolves over time. What was once accepted and expected has changed.

The overarching question: What is polite conversatiion?
Simply put, offense lies in the ear of the behearer.

Where do YOU draw the line, and who gets to draw it?

An adated quote from Gandhi, Be the polite conversation we want to see in the world.

In time the way we talk will be how we will be described.

We are whatever we eat
We are what we know
We are who we know
We are where we go

Furthermore:

Our thoughts become our words.

Our words become our actions.

Our actions become our habits.

Our habits become our values.

Our values become our destiny.

Psalm34:13-14 you want a good life don't talk trash

Bad tounge:
1 false and derogatory - not much description needed here, we all know this
2 true, but derogatory - Have you ever heard honesty used as a weapon
3 second-hand - "I thought you should know, Louie has done..."
4 compliments - The difficulty here is that once someone is complimented, the air is poised for one of two things. The likely is that it is, "Yeah, but they [insert insult here]

The Shot Apple

Three are injured

1. The person who it is about - That is the apple

2. The hearer - The left side of the apple, ouch
3. The speaker - The right side of the apple, eventually it will come back to that speaker in one form or another.

Quick test to check if you conversation is on the brink.

• Are my words true?
• Must I speak them? What if we only speak only when needed.

Two times I am obliged to speak:
1. To prevent domestic violence
2. To prevent you hiring a thief

A couple of basic beliefs, if you can't go a day without a ______ you are addicted

• Cigarette
• Alcohol
• Gossip

Arite was then nice enought to include the top questions most people ask.

Cant I just apologize?

Yes. Apologies include three parts,

1. Saying/verbalizing/writing I'm sorry: The basic apology.

2. Admitting your mistake, taking responsibility for your part in the problem.

3. Asking "How can we make this right", then doing whatever is within your power to make that right.

Isn't talking how we transfer our values?
Remain silent, thinking is a good thing. Also you can transfer values by actions.

What do you talk about (if you aren't talking about people)?

Something will eventually come up. If not, enjoy the company.

Can't I say anything to my _______ ( insert close friend or relative)?

-and put them at risk of being engaged in gossip? Not everything needs to be discussed.

What about advice?

People never want advice, even when they ask for it.

What if my intentions are good?

That hogwash. The result was that you hurt someone, no explaining it away but intent will mend their reputation or feelings.

How can we avoid interrupting?

Pay attention, really pay attention to what the other person is saying. By the time they are done you might want to say something different than you originally wanted to say.

Have you lost all of your friends by polite conversation?
"Friends" on occasion will use code to let you know that they do not want to be your friend anymore, be aware of this code and move on to friends that will edify.

And with that Artie closes:
We are speaking our lives into existence.

His favorite word is:

Abracadabra- out of nothing I create something

Audience questions:
Why is it hard to correct someone?
Because no one likes to be told they are wrong. The best way to correct is...

1. Do it in private - don't display their ignorance for all to see. Let them experience it behind closed doors.
2. Do it in a polite generous way. - as best you can share with the person how it is out of care and compassion for them. If you are not doing it from that point, let someone that does proceed.
3. Allow for growth or latitude- Don't corner them and make them fight you, grant them liberty to develop and move into a right way and pattern.

What is your attitude of politeness within type and digital communication?
When letter writing was common practice, the angered person would write a scathing note and let it rest on the corner of their desk. Once the next day comes, they would deliver the letter to the trash promptly. With today's instant letter delivery via email this option is no more, write your digital letters in word, and save it to the corner of your "desktop", then delete it.